Relationship

What is the first thing that comes into your mind when you hear this word?

It could be an image of two people holding hands, it could be a thought of being valued by another person, it could be a feeling of being loved by your significant other, it could mean something happy and blissful for those who are experiencing it or it could mean something sad and depressing for those who long for it. But, regardless of what comes into your mind, one thing is absolutely certain. A Relationship always seems to involve two entities, two beings, two souls. It can be between you and a group of people or it can be between you and a single person. But, it is always between you and something or someone else. And nothing is incorrect about the way we think in regards to this but, we do tend to forget about one of the most important relationships that we all undoubtedly have. It is the one that we have with ourselves.

In this day and age, where information spreads like wildfire, maybe in the form of relatable memes or in the form of some absurd viral video. The majority of the world and its information-spreading people try their absolute best to convince us that we inevitably need a partner, a boyfriend or a girlfriend to make us feel loved, to make us feel complete, to make us feel whole. And if we don’t have anyone who certifies within those standards, then we are doomed, we are hollow, and we are destined to be sad. But, let me break it to you. All of this is nothing but, a terrible lie. We don’t always need some partner to feel complete; we need love to feel complete. And that love can come from anywhere. It isn’t always necessary that it comes from someone else’s heart; it can come from a place which according to me holds more significance. It can come from our own heart as well.

It is my personal belief that each and every one of us are quite unique, and so is the relationship that we have with ourselves. It is different for every individual yet it does manage to fall under the same constraints within which a relationship fundamentally functions. But sadly, we all don’t properly work towards this self-relationship the way we should. We ignore it, we leave it, we just forget about that it exists altogether when now, more than ever, we desperately need to acknowledge and improve it. But, how do we actually improve it?

Well, just like in any other, we would follow the basic principles that are required for a relationship to work.

The first thing is trust, it always is. We absolutely need to start trusting ourselves and our own decisions whether they happen to be in our favor or against it, that doesn’t matter. What matters is the trust that we ultimately have on our own selves. Whatever we decide to do, our trust on self should be one hundred percent, no more and no less. If you say “I can do it!” then trust that you can actually do it.

Then there is communication which is the bane of any relationship to work. We have to know ourselves, we have to talk to ourselves, find out what we are feeling, find out who we are, who we eventually want to be. When was the last time we had a quality conversations with our own self? We need to do it. It is the reason why majority of us aren’t aware of what we are good at or what we want to do. We just don’t spend enough quality time with ourselves. We have to look deep into our own eyes and ask “What is it that I want?” If you did something that made you proud, tell yourself that you are proud of it. If you did something that you love, you should say it to yourself “I love doing this!” We need to make ourselves aware the value of things and people around us. Make ourselves know what makes us happy, what benefits us. And just like we would do for our partner to make them feel happy, we should do it for our own selves as well.

Another principle that confines a good relationship is the act of rewarding our respective partner for being such a significant part of our life. We should take this and apply to our very own selves. Reward with things that makes us happy. If one loves reading then make out time for it every once in a while. If one loves dancing then schedule out a specific day especially for it. This sense of rewarding is absolutely necessary in life. It keeps our self-relationship ever healthy and ever lasting.

And the last yet utmost thing that we absolutely need in a relationship is forgiveness. The act of forgiveness is as crucial on a spiritual level as it is on a mental level. We need to forgive ourselves.
I lied…
I cheated…
I did wrong…
I made mistakes…
Well, guess what, that only makes us human. We don’t need to batter ourselves down because of all the wrong we once did. Rather, learn from it and learn to forgive. We have to do it because no one else quite has the same power to forgive our own selves like we do.

Just following even one of these principles stated above can work to improve our relationship with ourselves quite significantly. And some of us may still not give this enough importance but, believe me, no one has the ability to help ourselves like we do. No one.

Ultimately in the end, we all need to remember the fact that majority of relationships that we make throughout our lives would end up being quite temporary. People will come and go, but only one has the absolute certainty to stay. And that is our own inner selves. Our self-relationship is destined to last our entire lifetime. And us not actively working towards it is like getting on a path of knowingly ruining our very own lives. We first need to learn to love ourselves the proper way, instead of searching for someone else who will. That should come after.

We need to realize that people can love us and people can leave us but, when it comes to our own selves, leaving isn’t an option, is it? We only have one thing left.
So, let’s do it right then.
Let’s love ourselves the way we are supposed to.

The art you see in this post was created by using Fresh Paint.